I hate your face
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
