i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
