How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
