Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize