I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
