she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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