It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
