yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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