would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
