Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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