i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
