Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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