i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
