addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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