i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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