Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
