I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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