I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
