I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
