i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
