is your mom at the bar?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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