you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
