whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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