hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
