I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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