YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
