Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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