and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
