rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
