I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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