why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
