Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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