Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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