she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize