VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
