I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
