I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
