It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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