dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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