We won't sleep together?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
