There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
