I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
