I will die if light touches me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
