Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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