The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
