I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
