using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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