I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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