im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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