Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
