i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize