He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
