Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
