Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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