And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
