I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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