Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
