I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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