Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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