let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
