We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize